Question by Khloe: essay criticism help?
It had to be 150 word essay on the following questions:
1. What program of study did have you chosen to enroll into and why?
2.How do you expect your education to help you attain your career goal?
i’m not done because i sort of need help on the second question, if you can help out on that too?
so far what do you think?
It was not too long ago when I decided I wanted to attend The Art Institute and it was not too long ago when I felt that I belonged in the film industry. I made a tough decision to figure out what program I wanted to study, I have always been infatuated with art, from the beginning of picking up my first camera lead to many possibilities, many possibilities that opened up my creative mind to explore the wonderful world of art. I was introduced to my first film festival when I was sixteen; my photography teacher insisted that I should do a stop motion animation film. It was a short film but, it was a wonderful experience that I loved being a part of. I know how mediocre that sounds but someday I would like to be a part of the film industry, so the program I have chosen to enroll in at The Art Institute of California is digital film and video production. I have chosen to enroll into this program because I acquired a desire for filmmaking and video production.
I know that my education can help me attain my career goal because my education will give me the opportunity to expand my possibilities and gain the skills necessary to succeed in digital film and video production. I believe that once I attend the Arts Institute they will support me with the right knowledge that I need to be successful.
Answer by eggz1
Thats very good so far, there is a bit i would re-word just so it makes sense. The part of this is:
“I have always been infatuated with art, from the beginning of picking up my first camera lead to many possibilities, many possibilities that opened up”
i would, in my opinion, change it to:
“I have always been infatuated with art, ever since i picked up my first camera, it has lead to many possibilities, many possibilities that opened up”
I think you’ve almost answered the second question, just say about how much more intelligent you will become whilst at the art institute, and how much of a difference it will make from what you are like now. Dont be afraid to exaggerate a tiiiiny bit, as that never hurts to get your point across.
Hope i’ve helped, even if its a little 😀
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