Question by Cmeyer: Started writing an essay for my college English class how does it sound so far?
The essay assignment was on food production after we had read the book animal vegetable miracle. I decided to write my essay based on fast food and the health problems that arise from it. Here is what I have so far. Please give feedback!
Compared to sixty years ago this country has moved to more fast paced lifestyles. With women working as much as men are now. Old traditions of sitting down together as a family to enjoy a meal are almost non existent. With so many people with busy lifestyles it’s hard for people to spend time preparing meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So what do the people of such busy lives do to eat in this country and many others? Chances are these people are choosing to eat at McDonalds or Burger King to fill their appetites. It’s so much easier for someone to make food for you in less time then it takes to tie a shoe. Convenience is in my opinion the main reason for why we choose to eat fast food over a home cooked meal.
Fast food chains are everywhere in this country. You can’t go anywhere without seeing fast food signs popping out of the ground. Our country is known for the greasy burgers and fries that are prepared at a low quality for us to consume. But do we really know what we are consuming?
When I was a junior in high school my human biology teacher has us watch a video called Super Size Me. It was a free day so she clipped the video in for us to see. Super Size me is a documentary about a man named Morgan Spurlock who decided to eat McDonalds for every meal for an entire month. Spurlock was above average physically before starting the documentary. “At the end of the documentary Spurlock gained 24 ½ pounds, his cholesterol levels increased, and his body fat increased 13 percent.” (Super Size Me) This documentary clearly shows how food high in fat and calories can affect a person in a negative way. After watching the documentary I ate McDonalds less realizing how unhealthy it is. This documentary supports Kingsolver’s idea that regularly eating fast food can increase health risks.
Answer by Char
‘Compared to sixty years ago this country has moved to more fast paced lifestyles. With women working as much as men are now.’ This doesn’t flow well. The second sentence shouldn’t be another sentence. Try combining it into something like ‘Compared to sixty years ago this country has developed faster paced lifestyles. Among these changes, women have started tp work just as much as men.’
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